So University is over...What's next?!

So if you guys didn't know, I graduated from uni on Tuesday (12/07/2016) yay me! It was literally one of the best days of my life ahhh. I wish I could go back :(. University was a long three years but I am so grateful for the experience and the lessons I've learnt because they have shaped who I am today! God did it guys.

Graduating from university is a period of an individual’s life that is filled with many different emotions - all at once. It is exciting and fulfilling because you have achieved an academic degree, it is a relief because you can finally wave goodbye to all those courseworks and exams (unless you are doing a masters of course), however, it can also be an anxious time especially if you are unsure of what to do after. 

Since we were born, our lives, in terms of education that is, has basically been dictated to us. From nursery/preschool to primary school to secondary school to college/sixth-form then finally to university. So, because this routined educational period of our lives ends after university, it can be quite an overwhelming and lonely time because we are now taking full control of our lives. No more routines, no more government regulation about what we do next, so yes it is exciting but it also be very overwhelming.

After university, there is so much you can do! So don’t limit yourself! Some people go travelling and the best time to do this is while you are young because you won’t get this free time again for a very long time. Others use this independence and start their own businesses, some learn new skills such as learning a new language or taking up a new hobby, some people go back to into education to do their Masters or even a PHD, to become experts in their chosen field of study and of course last but not least, WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK! Starting work and earning a salary to pay back those debts is the route most people take when they complete their degree, so in this post I am going to give some career advice and provide some methods that have helped me with my job search.

Firstly, always get your CV and cover letter checked by professionals. It is important to get a second look at your CV so that mistakes you don’t pick up on, others will. Your CV and cover letter is the first impression of yourself to an employer, so make sure that first impression is the best impression! Remember, you can only make a first impression once.

Make use of your University’s career advice services, it is there to help you and this is what the advisers are getting paid for, so please use them. You don’t need to feel embarrassed or awkward, they understand that job searching while studying can be difficult so they are there to aid you in this process, during university and even after. Get your full £9000 worth of university by using the facilities it provides! At Loughborough, my career centre were awesome. Since they gave my CV a complete makeover, I have been getting a lot more interviews. So I strongly advise this!

Signing up with recruitment agencies is also a useful way to find your first job. Recruitment agencies are really good because they help finds jobs that are best suited to what you are looking for and your current situation. They represent you as a candidate and are very helpful, especially in the interview process. Some good agencies that I have used are angela mortimer, c&c search, digby morgan and frazer jones.

MAKE USE OF YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS! It’s easy to get caught up on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram reading about the latest gossip or the latest news story, but as entertaining as these platforms are, they are also great for job searching so please utilise them. Twitter is a great platform as there are many accounts purely dedicated to posting graduate jobs (@firstemploy @graduatejobsuk @guardianjobs @graduatejobfeed). So turn on those notifications and be the first to hear about that new vacancy! It could be the perfect one for you.

Another great social media site for finding jobs is LinkedIn. If you don’t have a Linkedin account make one now! I cannot stress how imperative this is. It is one of the, if not the best social media site for making the right work connections and it makes your job search 10x easier. Linkedin is almost like the Facebook for the corporate world, so instead of a social profile, your profile will be filled with your qualifications and your work experiences. I recommend this highly.

You know what they say, your network is your networth. I have spoken to various people who have landed their first jobs purely on who they know, so it is important to get out of your comfort zone and make an effort to meet new people. Attending networking events is a great start because such events make the process of meeting people that much easier.

Finally, yes the job search process can be tedious but you have to keep going till you get that perfect job for you. Don’t just settle for anything, but settle for a role where you can see yourself developing and growing and most importantly, that you will enjoy. Be vigorous and proactive with your search and don’t be afraid to ask - if you don’t ask, you won’t get. Sometimes emailing ‘please find my CV attached’ is just not enough because the majority of the time they won’t even open the email. However, if you are calling companies, booking appointments and showing enthusiasm, they are more likely to notice you!

So these are just a few ways that I have been searching for jobs, it may or may not work for you but the most important thing is that you do what makes you happy! 

As I mentioned previously, getting a job is not the only route to take after university, but it is the most popular route which is why I dedicated a section for job seeking advice. But please do what it best for you. Be happy, be passionate and go and reach your goals!

Thanks for reading!

Side note: If you haven't heard my segment on #MICRADIO #ANYTHINGANDEVERYTHING, go and listen to it now guys! We discussed some hot topics, such as Beyonce and Jay-Z, have I ever been in love, my future goals and much more - INSPIRE ON #MICRADIO - EPISODE 22

Shatters - [Guest post from Roberta @rkyroberta]

Our lack of self-confidence stems from our lack of resilience. In working up to gain that self-confidence back, we have to work as much, if not more, on our resilience. You can be self-assured all you want; give yourself pep talks or pamper yourself up all you want, but when the cruel words are directed at you, everything you worked on shatters to pieces. Self- confidence is nothing without resilience.

This short but sweet post about self-confidence was written by Roberta Yearwood. Check out her blog at robertakyearwood.com and be sure to follow her on Twitter too!

What is I.N.S.P.I.R.E?

Hi guys, so I figured that most of you may be wondering what  I.N.S.P.I.R.E is and what it is all about? Ok so, I.N.S.P.I.R.E is actually an acronym of seven words that summarise what this platform I have started is all about.

I: Individuality - individuality relates to our uniqueness. We are all unique and special with different gifts and talents. This platform aims to encourage to young females to celebrate what makes them unique and to never feel inferior to anyone because no one else is like you and that is your advantage over others. So important.

N: Noble - the dictionary describes being noble as being ‘excellent or of superior quality’. I related this excellence we posses to being like royalty. We are royalty. We are queens, so therefore we need to act and live how queens do. When we as females understand that we are noble, we will know our worth and set our standard high without ever feeling we need to lower them! Look at how the Queen of England dresses and carries herself, she is a noble woman. We are all queens in our own right and need to live out this reality! This platforms aims to remind us how noble we are.

Proverbs 31:10b: ‘Her worth is far more than rubies’

S: Self-love - this is pretty self explanatory. Self-love is the best love you can give to yourself and as a young female and you owe this to yourself. If you don’t love yourself first, no one else can love you in all honesty. Yes, it sounds cliche but it is the truth! Self-love establishes self-respect, self-confidence, understanding your worth, appreciating your strengths and putting yourself first. I won’t give away too much because I am in the middle on writing a post about loving yourself, so look out for that soon!

P: Purpose - we all have a purpose in life. There is a reason why we were created and why we are living. This platform aims to help young females identify their purpose by learning more about themselves by identifying their strengths and focusing on their unique talents and gifts.

I: Image - image relates to how we view ourselves and how others view us. As a young female, it is easy to get so concerned with our bodies and our makeup and hair and all these superficial things that we forget about the beauty inside of us! This platform aims to redefine beauty by encouraging females to realise the importance of inner beauty rather than our outward image. We were created in the image of God, therefore we are beautiful no matter what society defines beauty as! Remember that!

R: Relationships - relationships are a main part of all our lives and can affect us in various ways. For example, in sexual relationships, females definitely have more to lose if the relationships doesn’t go to plan! For my dissertation I studied how romantic relationships affect the psychological well-being of undergraduate students and found that it definitely does affect our psychological well-being to an extent. This platform discusses various relationships such as friendships (read my previous ‘Knowing the Difference’ blogpost) and romantic relationships and how to get the best out of such relationships.

E: Expression - finally, this is a platform where young females can express themselves in any way they desire! I aim to interact with you all on my various social networking sites (Twitter, Instagram and Blogspot) so please follow and feel free to contact me!

Thank you for reading. Stay blessed and stay inspired. Love you all xx

Insecurities x Godfidence

Hi guys. First of all, apologies that I have been so inconsistent with my blog - university was literally taking over my life, but I have now finished my degree so I'm back and I'm better!

What motivated me to write this post is the increasing amount of young girls that are so insecure in themselves and it is honestly so upsetting. The younger generation of females are so concerned with their appearance that they are starting to wear waist trainers, tons of make up and I have even heard of young girls wanting a boob job! These girls are about 14-16 by the way. So, hopefully, this post really encourages and helps someone who may be struggling with dealing with insecurities.

So...

What is an insecurity? According to Oxford dictionary, an insecurity is a lack of confidence or self-doubt. It could also be described as a feeling of unease that is triggered by perceiving yourself to be inferior or vulnerable to others in some way. As well as feelings of unease we have about ourselves, insecurities can also influence our behaviour, especially in sexual relationships. In such relationships, having insecurities can lead to extreme clinginess or paranoia which usually leads to the downfall of relationships because of the lack of trust.

Insecurities are something everyone has or has had at some point in their lives. Some individuals may have more than other but the fact is, we all have them because no one is perfect and that is ok!

Insecurities can easily take over our lives if we do not control them, and dealing with insecurities starts with YOU. Learn to be secure in your insecurities.

Now, I am not the curviest or thickest girl and recently, I have received repeated comments about my weight which have been affecting me. The funny thing is, I didn’t even notice that I was apparently ‘losing weight’ till I was receiving comments left, right and centre. As imagined, this made me extremely self-conscious to the point where I would repeatedly ask my friends ‘do I look skinny?’ ‘does this outfit look ok on me?’ and they would constantly reassure me that I look fine, but that was just not enough. I even considered seeing the GP about my weight (It’s never that serious Sade) !

Then I realised that if I aim to encourage and advise young girls, I can’t be afford to be hypocritical. I can’t tell girls to be confident in themselves but then allow the opinions of others to consume me to the point where I am taking extreme measures to change how my appearance. What I was forced to realise is that opinions are not facts, take them in and let them go! (Shoutout to Chipmunk with that bar lol!). I’ve just learnt to accept that God made me the way I am for a reason; if I was thick and curvy with a massive bum perhaps I would be overly vain and self-conceited which are two negative attributes that God dislikes! In my first blogpost ‘embracing your flaws’, I discussed that our flaws are there to be embraced because that is what makes us unique and special. So, it is important to continually remind ourselves how special we are!

In my university room,  I have several quotes on my wall such as ‘don’t let the opinions of others consume you’ and ‘happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to others’ because sometimes it’s comforting to have a daily reminder of these things so you can live this reality. True beauty comes from within and so we need to stop being so hard on ourselves and appreciate how we were created because we were created the way we are for a reason.

Psalms 139:4‘ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are beautiful and I know that full well’.

When attempting to deal with insecurities, It is so important to avoid comparing yourself to others. This is something definitely easier said than done, but I cannot stress how imperative it is. Comparing yourself to someone who is completely different to you, who has a different lifestyle, a different mindset and different experiences is so harmful emotionally. THERE IS ONLY ONE YOU. I frequently compare myself to other girls who are curvier than me and/or prettier than me but this only leads to me feeling worse about myself which is why I wanted to change my look so desperately. Don’t get me wrong, desiring to change your appearance by going to the gym or wearing a waist trainer for example, is not always a bad thing, as long as you are doing it for yourself and not to meet societal expectations or because of others around you. Another important way to deal with insecurities is through surrounding yourself with positivity. Reading uplifting quotes is always a great start and what I do is I remind myself how amazing I am by literally talking to myself daily. It sounds crazy, but believe it or not it works so try it!

Let’s talk about GODfidence.

I’m sure some of you are thinking what on earth is Godfidence? And no, I didn’t make it up! Godfidence. This is a quality that surpasses confidence. Having confidence is believing in yourself which is great but Godfidence takes it to a higher level. Confidence can easily be knocked down by the words we hear and the things we see but Godfidence is everlasting because it is a confidence that comes from God and God alone. When our confidence and self-love comes from knowing who we are in Christ and viewing ourselves the way God views us, we will not let our insecurities consume us. Developing your relationship with God is the first step and getting familiar with uplifting scriptures and reminding yourself how amazing you are on a daily basis are some ways you can gain GODFIDENCE! No, it is not far fetched and no it is not just some fancy cliche that sounds nice, this is reality. True confidence comes from God, so go and get some!

ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS:

You are beautiful.Your insecurities do not define you.You are the best version of yourself. Most importantly, God loves every part of you, whether you are skinny, big, tall, short, dark skinned, light skinned, we were all created in His image.

So I’ve just had to accept that this is me, I am Sade Oludoyi, a slim, beautiful 21 year old and I have no choice but to accept this or I will be a miserable person!

Thank you for reading, please share this post with anyone else who you think would benefit from this piece.

Also follow my Twitter @sadeinspire and Instagram @inspire.ldn (links on the right>>>) where I will post quotes, photos and videos related to my blog and it is also a great way to stay posted with my future blogposts!

If you have any questions you can dm me or email inspire.ldn@gmail.com

God bless and thank you for reading

Xx

Side note: I recommend 'The Confident Woman’ daily devotional by Joyce Meyer, it is amazing and approaches the idea of a becoming a confident woman in a unique way which i love.

Know The Difference

Since primary school I've always been involved in drama with people I thought were my "friends". The same problem occurred in secondary school, sixth form, and even in university. Although these situations were unpleasant I am grateful for the experience and the valuable lessons I've learned which have contributed into the young lady I am today! 

I've always been the type of person to put my all in my relationships and try to please everyone because that's the type of person I naturally am, so when people let me down, hurt me or show me their true colours it makes me extremely upset and sometimes I even often blame myself for their actions. However as I've grown up and seen/been involved in numerous situations I have learnt more about people and their different characters. The truth is not everyone will treat you how you treat them that's just life. Really and truly the only person that will never let you down is GOD because He is the same yesterday, today and forever but humans are not! Once you accept this simple fact life will be more pleasant. 

One mistake we often make is to call people our 'friends' prematurely. Growing older and becoming wiser I have learnt that not everyone is your friend. "A true friendship is one of the most valuable assets one can have. The bible states in Proverbs 18:24 that "there exists a friend sticking closer than a brother". It also shares that "bad associations spoil useful habits" in 1 Corinthians 15:33". As the scripture says, a friend is one who sticks closer than a brother implying that a friend should ALWAYS have your back and be there for you no matter the situation therefore before calling someone your friend some useful thought is required. This is because there are many factors that are involved in a true friendship which often we take too lightly. 

Firstly, it is important to know the difference between an ACQUAINTANCE and a FRIEND. Please don't confuse the two (which I often do). Many of the people we call our friends are actually acquaintances but we don't realise because we think they are all our 'friends' which is why we get hurt by what they do when really acquaintances are expected to do such...

Secondly, the duration of the relationship you’ve had with the individual is completely irrelevant. I cannot stress this enough. I saw a tweet which said "someone who you met 2 days ago may have better intentions than someone who you have known for 10 years". I can testify to this! I've been in university for 2 years and I can confidently say I have met lifelong friends. I've also known people for most of my life who I believed were my friends but I realised that they were probably just tolerating me for all that time (lol!) and the relationship was not a real friendship. Better to realise late than never right? 

Another thing I've realised is that as you grow older your group of friends decrease significantly. This is completely normal. I feel like this happens because as you grow in maturity, the direction of your life becomes clearer and if your friends aren't on the same wavelength it's very easy for them to hold you back. So the best thing to do is cut them off. "Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are" - I've always been sceptical about this statement because you can't be responsible for all the actions of your friends but now I can see the reality of this quote. Your real friends should be a reflection of you or the person you aim to be. These are people who you most likely get advice from, who you confide in etc so their thought process should be similar to yours in that you both are going in similar directions in life! For example, all my close friends love God so if I ever need godly advice or just encouragement I know I can speak to them.

I genuinely have so much to say about this topic but if I say everything you'll never hear the end of it so I will conclude with 5 brief descriptions of what a true friend means to me;

- A true friend always has your back! They will defend you in your absence and in your presence.

- A true friend always tells you the truth no matter how hard it may be. Sometimes it's hard to correct your friends but as I said previously they are a reflection of you so if they aren't acting right check them! (out of love of course) 

- A true friend always supports you, they won't be envious or jealous of you. How can you be jealous of someone that is your friend? Their success should motivate you if anything.

- A true friend always respects you, your feelings and your desires. To disrespect someone is to belittle them so if a 'friend' makes you feel small, that friendship is worth reconsidering.

- Finally, a true friend is always there for you. For me this is one of the most important attributes of a friend. Sometimes you just want someone who will listen to you when you need to vent, cry or just clear your head. It feels good to have someone there who genuinely cares and to give you the assurance that you are not alone.

Filter your friends down and know the difference between acquaintance and a friend - trust me life will be much sweeter! Even if you're left with 2 real friends it is much better than having 10 illegitimate friends around you. 

If you have any questions feel free to comment and also share if this was useful x

God bless you all.

Thanks for reading! 

It's Okay to be Single...

Young males and ladies need to realise that it is okay to be single! This is a statement that I have been saying to myself a lot more frequently especially since relationships are suddenly on the increase. I have noticed that relationships are held in such high esteem in our generation, even before one thinks about their academics and career choices. People always feel like they need to be loved, like they need to have someone that will be always there for them, to constantly compliment them and make them feel good about themselves. This mentality will leave you lonely. If you are not happy within yourself first, no other person can come into your life to make you feel happy. True happiness comes from within and not from validation from the opposite sex.

I have spoken to a few people my age about their relationship experiences and more often than not, there were more negative effects than positives. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against relationships at this age because there are definitely some successful ones, I just believe that too many young people get into relationships for the wrong reasons and then end up worse than they were before they got into the relationship.

From my personal experiences, I have learnt a lot and have come up with a few pieces of advice that I believe everyone should take on board when getting into a relationship.

Don’t

1 – Do not make your partner your everything. This may sound strange, but you actually did have a life before you got into your relationship, so if you feel like you can’t live without your boyfriend/girlfriend you need to make a change.

2 – Don’t allow yourself to be dragged down. Any sort of relationship you find yourself in should be elevating and positive. Improving as a person should constantly be the goal! Having a partner, particularly at this age, can easily slow you down because you find yourself concentrating on pleasing the other person for the majority of the time rather than focusing on yourself.

Do

1 – Stay true to yourself. You know who you are and where you came from, don’t compromise that because of love/lust. The reason why I say lust is because believe it or not, most young people enter relationships based on the outward appearance of their significant other, so are you in love or are you in lust? 

2 – Get your priorities straight. For example, in my life I know that God and my family come before anything, so I would never make a partner of mine more important. Ever. 

3 –  Have mentors and good friends around you who you can be accountable to. You need these people around you to always keep you in check when you’re about to slip up. When you're accountable to someone, you're less likely to make many of the silly mistakes you find yourself making constantly!

Thanks for reading my second blog post. Make the right choices and remember to always put yourself and your happiness first. Your boyfriend/girlfriend will come when the time is right! Don't rush!

*One thing led to another* written by a beautiful wise woman  (Dr. Grace Sola - Oludoyi - who happens to be my mum) is such a great and insightful book about the unhealthy games singles play in relationships. It fits in well with this topic and gives a lot more concrete, Godly advice on relationships. Email me if you’re interested inspire.ldn@gmail.com X

Have a blessed week. Love you guys x

Embracing Your Flaws

Hey Guys! 

So, since secondary school I’ve had a deep passion in advising and encouraging young ladies, specifically between the ages of 13-21, about so many different issues. Young ladies go through so much and sometimes good Godly advice and some encouragement is all we need. I believe ladies are full of so much potential and we are simply the best – so why not show it?

The reason I chose to express my views to you through blogging is because over the past few weeks I've been doing a lot of observing and I've realised that there are so many beautiful ladies out there that are insecure in the way they look (including myself) and this is shown so prominently in their pictures, tweets, statuses, snapchats etc. There is so much pressure on girls from different avenues to look a certain way. These avenues include boys, celebrities, magazines, reality shows and many more. The “ideal look” is what most girls strive for, but is there really an ideal look? For example, boys put so much pressure on girls to be a ‘slim thick’ size, have ‘natural looking’ hair, not wear a lot of make-up, but the truth is, if we as ladies listen to everything and try to change our look to suit the preferences of others, we lose our sense of individuality and uniqueness which makes us special. YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYBODY!

The focus of my blog is for us as young ladies to start embracing our physical flaws. A dictionary definition for physical flaws is ‘an imperfection, often concealed, that impairs soundness’.

Ladies, EVERYONE has flaws. Every single person on this Earth has something about their body or face that they wish they could change or that they aren’t 100% happy and comfortable with. Some people even go the extent of having plastic/cosmetic surgery to enhance or completely change their faces and bodies and STILL aren’t happy, hence why they keep having more and more surgery.

Below are pictures of some celebrities with and without make up that may look ‘perfect’ to us, but I want you to look closely and you’ll realise they are just normal looking humans just like us!

Beyoncé Knowles

Jennifer Lopez

Khloe Kardashian

Kim Kardashian

Nicki Minaj

Tyra Banks

Some people who know me, already know the things I dislike/d about my face and body. I’m going to share a couple of them with you, because it’s easy for you to make the assumption that by the way I carry myself and because I’m writing this blog I think I’m flawless (I wish lol). 
So here goes, Firstly, I dislike my arms because they are naturally muscly which isn’t as feminine as I would like; next, I have really oily skin which makes me look like I’m constantly sweating half the time (lol) and when I smile my nose looks huge! Furthermore, I used to HATE my lips because I thought they were so big and didn’t suit my face, but now I’ve grown to love them so much (I pout in nearly all my pictures)! I also have large eyes, which I originally did not like, but I’m starting to appreciate the beauty of it, because it truly is beautiful. Some pictures of me smiling, pouting, with and without make-up:

While in my thoughts, I came up with a practical ways that we can ‘embrace our flaws’ in reality

1. ALWAYS SEE THE POSITIVE SIDE. For example, if you have large lips think of all the people who pay for botox to get the same size lips as you; if you’re tall & skinny, you can make money off your look by going into modelling etc and if you have really oily skin at least your face will never be dry!                                                                                                                                                         
2. STOP FOCUSING ON YOUR IMPERFECTIONS BUT RATHER FOCUS ON THE FEATURES YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF. This method really worked for me: write a list of the features you like and dislike about yourself. Throw the list of the features you don’t like away and put the list of features you do like in a place where you will see it daily. Now always focus on those things and thank God for giving you such beautiful features! Flaunt it girl.                                                                                                        
3. BE CONFIDENT; FAKE IT TILL IT’S REAL. Confidence is one of the most important and attractive attributes to have. If you are confident in yourself, no one can say anything about your flaws that will bring you down. If someone tells me I have big lips today, I will simply smile and say ‘Thanks for that. Now tell me something I don’t know.’ If you accept your flaws and embrace them, anyone who has anything negative to say will feel quite embarrassed when they realise you don't care. Even if you feel you're having a bad day and you look your worst, carry yourself around, head up high, like you’re looking 5*! It’s so important. Do not let anyone take advantage of your weaknesses.   

So that’s all for today. Remember ladies, we are all unique and beautiful in our own individual way because we are made in the image of God & He ain’t ugly. Inner beauty is what really counts and external beauty follows. Carry yourself like you are royalty and always remember to embrace your flaws rather than letting it get you down.

Stay confident, Stay beautiful and keep smiling J

Thanks for reading xo