Shatters - [Guest post from Roberta @rkyroberta]

Our lack of self-confidence stems from our lack of resilience. In working up to gain that self-confidence back, we have to work as much, if not more, on our resilience. You can be self-assured all you want; give yourself pep talks or pamper yourself up all you want, but when the cruel words are directed at you, everything you worked on shatters to pieces. Self- confidence is nothing without resilience.

This short but sweet post about self-confidence was written by Roberta Yearwood. Check out her blog at robertakyearwood.com and be sure to follow her on Twitter too!

What is I.N.S.P.I.R.E?

Hi guys, so I figured that most of you may be wondering what  I.N.S.P.I.R.E is and what it is all about? Ok so, I.N.S.P.I.R.E is actually an acronym of seven words that summarise what this platform I have started is all about.

I: Individuality - individuality relates to our uniqueness. We are all unique and special with different gifts and talents. This platform aims to encourage to young females to celebrate what makes them unique and to never feel inferior to anyone because no one else is like you and that is your advantage over others. So important.

N: Noble - the dictionary describes being noble as being ‘excellent or of superior quality’. I related this excellence we posses to being like royalty. We are royalty. We are queens, so therefore we need to act and live how queens do. When we as females understand that we are noble, we will know our worth and set our standard high without ever feeling we need to lower them! Look at how the Queen of England dresses and carries herself, she is a noble woman. We are all queens in our own right and need to live out this reality! This platforms aims to remind us how noble we are.

Proverbs 31:10b: ‘Her worth is far more than rubies’

S: Self-love - this is pretty self explanatory. Self-love is the best love you can give to yourself and as a young female and you owe this to yourself. If you don’t love yourself first, no one else can love you in all honesty. Yes, it sounds cliche but it is the truth! Self-love establishes self-respect, self-confidence, understanding your worth, appreciating your strengths and putting yourself first. I won’t give away too much because I am in the middle on writing a post about loving yourself, so look out for that soon!

P: Purpose - we all have a purpose in life. There is a reason why we were created and why we are living. This platform aims to help young females identify their purpose by learning more about themselves by identifying their strengths and focusing on their unique talents and gifts.

I: Image - image relates to how we view ourselves and how others view us. As a young female, it is easy to get so concerned with our bodies and our makeup and hair and all these superficial things that we forget about the beauty inside of us! This platform aims to redefine beauty by encouraging females to realise the importance of inner beauty rather than our outward image. We were created in the image of God, therefore we are beautiful no matter what society defines beauty as! Remember that!

R: Relationships - relationships are a main part of all our lives and can affect us in various ways. For example, in sexual relationships, females definitely have more to lose if the relationships doesn’t go to plan! For my dissertation I studied how romantic relationships affect the psychological well-being of undergraduate students and found that it definitely does affect our psychological well-being to an extent. This platform discusses various relationships such as friendships (read my previous ‘Knowing the Difference’ blogpost) and romantic relationships and how to get the best out of such relationships.

E: Expression - finally, this is a platform where young females can express themselves in any way they desire! I aim to interact with you all on my various social networking sites (Twitter, Instagram and Blogspot) so please follow and feel free to contact me!

Thank you for reading. Stay blessed and stay inspired. Love you all xx

Insecurities x Godfidence

Hi guys. First of all, apologies that I have been so inconsistent with my blog - university was literally taking over my life, but I have now finished my degree so I'm back and I'm better!

What motivated me to write this post is the increasing amount of young girls that are so insecure in themselves and it is honestly so upsetting. The younger generation of females are so concerned with their appearance that they are starting to wear waist trainers, tons of make up and I have even heard of young girls wanting a boob job! These girls are about 14-16 by the way. So, hopefully, this post really encourages and helps someone who may be struggling with dealing with insecurities.

So...

What is an insecurity? According to Oxford dictionary, an insecurity is a lack of confidence or self-doubt. It could also be described as a feeling of unease that is triggered by perceiving yourself to be inferior or vulnerable to others in some way. As well as feelings of unease we have about ourselves, insecurities can also influence our behaviour, especially in sexual relationships. In such relationships, having insecurities can lead to extreme clinginess or paranoia which usually leads to the downfall of relationships because of the lack of trust.

Insecurities are something everyone has or has had at some point in their lives. Some individuals may have more than other but the fact is, we all have them because no one is perfect and that is ok!

Insecurities can easily take over our lives if we do not control them, and dealing with insecurities starts with YOU. Learn to be secure in your insecurities.

Now, I am not the curviest or thickest girl and recently, I have received repeated comments about my weight which have been affecting me. The funny thing is, I didn’t even notice that I was apparently ‘losing weight’ till I was receiving comments left, right and centre. As imagined, this made me extremely self-conscious to the point where I would repeatedly ask my friends ‘do I look skinny?’ ‘does this outfit look ok on me?’ and they would constantly reassure me that I look fine, but that was just not enough. I even considered seeing the GP about my weight (It’s never that serious Sade) !

Then I realised that if I aim to encourage and advise young girls, I can’t be afford to be hypocritical. I can’t tell girls to be confident in themselves but then allow the opinions of others to consume me to the point where I am taking extreme measures to change how my appearance. What I was forced to realise is that opinions are not facts, take them in and let them go! (Shoutout to Chipmunk with that bar lol!). I’ve just learnt to accept that God made me the way I am for a reason; if I was thick and curvy with a massive bum perhaps I would be overly vain and self-conceited which are two negative attributes that God dislikes! In my first blogpost ‘embracing your flaws’, I discussed that our flaws are there to be embraced because that is what makes us unique and special. So, it is important to continually remind ourselves how special we are!

In my university room,  I have several quotes on my wall such as ‘don’t let the opinions of others consume you’ and ‘happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to others’ because sometimes it’s comforting to have a daily reminder of these things so you can live this reality. True beauty comes from within and so we need to stop being so hard on ourselves and appreciate how we were created because we were created the way we are for a reason.

Psalms 139:4‘ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are beautiful and I know that full well’.

When attempting to deal with insecurities, It is so important to avoid comparing yourself to others. This is something definitely easier said than done, but I cannot stress how imperative it is. Comparing yourself to someone who is completely different to you, who has a different lifestyle, a different mindset and different experiences is so harmful emotionally. THERE IS ONLY ONE YOU. I frequently compare myself to other girls who are curvier than me and/or prettier than me but this only leads to me feeling worse about myself which is why I wanted to change my look so desperately. Don’t get me wrong, desiring to change your appearance by going to the gym or wearing a waist trainer for example, is not always a bad thing, as long as you are doing it for yourself and not to meet societal expectations or because of others around you. Another important way to deal with insecurities is through surrounding yourself with positivity. Reading uplifting quotes is always a great start and what I do is I remind myself how amazing I am by literally talking to myself daily. It sounds crazy, but believe it or not it works so try it!

Let’s talk about GODfidence.

I’m sure some of you are thinking what on earth is Godfidence? And no, I didn’t make it up! Godfidence. This is a quality that surpasses confidence. Having confidence is believing in yourself which is great but Godfidence takes it to a higher level. Confidence can easily be knocked down by the words we hear and the things we see but Godfidence is everlasting because it is a confidence that comes from God and God alone. When our confidence and self-love comes from knowing who we are in Christ and viewing ourselves the way God views us, we will not let our insecurities consume us. Developing your relationship with God is the first step and getting familiar with uplifting scriptures and reminding yourself how amazing you are on a daily basis are some ways you can gain GODFIDENCE! No, it is not far fetched and no it is not just some fancy cliche that sounds nice, this is reality. True confidence comes from God, so go and get some!

ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS:

You are beautiful.Your insecurities do not define you.You are the best version of yourself. Most importantly, God loves every part of you, whether you are skinny, big, tall, short, dark skinned, light skinned, we were all created in His image.

So I’ve just had to accept that this is me, I am Sade Oludoyi, a slim, beautiful 21 year old and I have no choice but to accept this or I will be a miserable person!

Thank you for reading, please share this post with anyone else who you think would benefit from this piece.

Also follow my Twitter @sadeinspire and Instagram @inspire.ldn (links on the right>>>) where I will post quotes, photos and videos related to my blog and it is also a great way to stay posted with my future blogposts!

If you have any questions you can dm me or email inspire.ldn@gmail.com

God bless and thank you for reading

Xx

Side note: I recommend 'The Confident Woman’ daily devotional by Joyce Meyer, it is amazing and approaches the idea of a becoming a confident woman in a unique way which i love.