It's Okay to be Single...

Young males and ladies need to realise that it is okay to be single! This is a statement that I have been saying to myself a lot more frequently especially since relationships are suddenly on the increase. I have noticed that relationships are held in such high esteem in our generation, even before one thinks about their academics and career choices. People always feel like they need to be loved, like they need to have someone that will be always there for them, to constantly compliment them and make them feel good about themselves. This mentality will leave you lonely. If you are not happy within yourself first, no other person can come into your life to make you feel happy. True happiness comes from within and not from validation from the opposite sex.

I have spoken to a few people my age about their relationship experiences and more often than not, there were more negative effects than positives. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against relationships at this age because there are definitely some successful ones, I just believe that too many young people get into relationships for the wrong reasons and then end up worse than they were before they got into the relationship.

From my personal experiences, I have learnt a lot and have come up with a few pieces of advice that I believe everyone should take on board when getting into a relationship.

Don’t

1 – Do not make your partner your everything. This may sound strange, but you actually did have a life before you got into your relationship, so if you feel like you can’t live without your boyfriend/girlfriend you need to make a change.

2 – Don’t allow yourself to be dragged down. Any sort of relationship you find yourself in should be elevating and positive. Improving as a person should constantly be the goal! Having a partner, particularly at this age, can easily slow you down because you find yourself concentrating on pleasing the other person for the majority of the time rather than focusing on yourself.

Do

1 – Stay true to yourself. You know who you are and where you came from, don’t compromise that because of love/lust. The reason why I say lust is because believe it or not, most young people enter relationships based on the outward appearance of their significant other, so are you in love or are you in lust? 

2 – Get your priorities straight. For example, in my life I know that God and my family come before anything, so I would never make a partner of mine more important. Ever. 

3 –  Have mentors and good friends around you who you can be accountable to. You need these people around you to always keep you in check when you’re about to slip up. When you're accountable to someone, you're less likely to make many of the silly mistakes you find yourself making constantly!

Thanks for reading my second blog post. Make the right choices and remember to always put yourself and your happiness first. Your boyfriend/girlfriend will come when the time is right! Don't rush!

*One thing led to another* written by a beautiful wise woman  (Dr. Grace Sola - Oludoyi - who happens to be my mum) is such a great and insightful book about the unhealthy games singles play in relationships. It fits in well with this topic and gives a lot more concrete, Godly advice on relationships. Email me if you’re interested inspire.ldn@gmail.com X

Have a blessed week. Love you guys x

Embracing Your Flaws

Hey Guys! 

So, since secondary school I’ve had a deep passion in advising and encouraging young ladies, specifically between the ages of 13-21, about so many different issues. Young ladies go through so much and sometimes good Godly advice and some encouragement is all we need. I believe ladies are full of so much potential and we are simply the best – so why not show it?

The reason I chose to express my views to you through blogging is because over the past few weeks I've been doing a lot of observing and I've realised that there are so many beautiful ladies out there that are insecure in the way they look (including myself) and this is shown so prominently in their pictures, tweets, statuses, snapchats etc. There is so much pressure on girls from different avenues to look a certain way. These avenues include boys, celebrities, magazines, reality shows and many more. The “ideal look” is what most girls strive for, but is there really an ideal look? For example, boys put so much pressure on girls to be a ‘slim thick’ size, have ‘natural looking’ hair, not wear a lot of make-up, but the truth is, if we as ladies listen to everything and try to change our look to suit the preferences of others, we lose our sense of individuality and uniqueness which makes us special. YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYBODY!

The focus of my blog is for us as young ladies to start embracing our physical flaws. A dictionary definition for physical flaws is ‘an imperfection, often concealed, that impairs soundness’.

Ladies, EVERYONE has flaws. Every single person on this Earth has something about their body or face that they wish they could change or that they aren’t 100% happy and comfortable with. Some people even go the extent of having plastic/cosmetic surgery to enhance or completely change their faces and bodies and STILL aren’t happy, hence why they keep having more and more surgery.

Below are pictures of some celebrities with and without make up that may look ‘perfect’ to us, but I want you to look closely and you’ll realise they are just normal looking humans just like us!

Beyoncé Knowles

Jennifer Lopez

Khloe Kardashian

Kim Kardashian

Nicki Minaj

Tyra Banks

Some people who know me, already know the things I dislike/d about my face and body. I’m going to share a couple of them with you, because it’s easy for you to make the assumption that by the way I carry myself and because I’m writing this blog I think I’m flawless (I wish lol). 
So here goes, Firstly, I dislike my arms because they are naturally muscly which isn’t as feminine as I would like; next, I have really oily skin which makes me look like I’m constantly sweating half the time (lol) and when I smile my nose looks huge! Furthermore, I used to HATE my lips because I thought they were so big and didn’t suit my face, but now I’ve grown to love them so much (I pout in nearly all my pictures)! I also have large eyes, which I originally did not like, but I’m starting to appreciate the beauty of it, because it truly is beautiful. Some pictures of me smiling, pouting, with and without make-up:

While in my thoughts, I came up with a practical ways that we can ‘embrace our flaws’ in reality

1. ALWAYS SEE THE POSITIVE SIDE. For example, if you have large lips think of all the people who pay for botox to get the same size lips as you; if you’re tall & skinny, you can make money off your look by going into modelling etc and if you have really oily skin at least your face will never be dry!                                                                                                                                                         
2. STOP FOCUSING ON YOUR IMPERFECTIONS BUT RATHER FOCUS ON THE FEATURES YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF. This method really worked for me: write a list of the features you like and dislike about yourself. Throw the list of the features you don’t like away and put the list of features you do like in a place where you will see it daily. Now always focus on those things and thank God for giving you such beautiful features! Flaunt it girl.                                                                                                        
3. BE CONFIDENT; FAKE IT TILL IT’S REAL. Confidence is one of the most important and attractive attributes to have. If you are confident in yourself, no one can say anything about your flaws that will bring you down. If someone tells me I have big lips today, I will simply smile and say ‘Thanks for that. Now tell me something I don’t know.’ If you accept your flaws and embrace them, anyone who has anything negative to say will feel quite embarrassed when they realise you don't care. Even if you feel you're having a bad day and you look your worst, carry yourself around, head up high, like you’re looking 5*! It’s so important. Do not let anyone take advantage of your weaknesses.   

So that’s all for today. Remember ladies, we are all unique and beautiful in our own individual way because we are made in the image of God & He ain’t ugly. Inner beauty is what really counts and external beauty follows. Carry yourself like you are royalty and always remember to embrace your flaws rather than letting it get you down.

Stay confident, Stay beautiful and keep smiling J

Thanks for reading xo